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    March 16

    talladega nights

    thinking he is on fire] Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Aah! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off of me!
    • Help me, Oprah Winefrey!
    • I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f--- you.
    • Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is just around the corner, and what better gift to give a loved one [pulls out knife] than the Jack Hawk 9000? Available at Wal-Mart!
    • I sent in my application to The Real World, so I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not, like, a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly, like, "Hey, what's up guys? You want some crack?". I'm just waiting on those two things to just kinda flesh themselves out.
    • Dear Lord Baby Jesus, lying there in your...your little ghost manger, lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental...videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors...
    • Hang on, Baby Jesus, this is gon' get bumpy!
    • Now, due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates that I mention POWERade at each grace, I'd just like to say that POWERade is delicious, it cools you off on a hot summer day, and we're all looking forward to POWERade's release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry.
    • [driving his first race] Hey, Lucius, I just wanted to share a piece of personal information with you. I've got a...a chubby right now because THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE!! I'M GETTIN' TO DRIVE A RACECAR I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD!!!
    • The room is startin' to spin real fast...cause of...cause of gayness.
    • [Looking under the hood of his race car] Hot dog! I mean, that's like lookin' up Yasmine Bleeth's skirt!
    • Yep, I'm flyin' through the air, this is not good.
    • [to his father-in-law] The only thing you ever did with your life is make a hot daughter! That's it!
    • [to Girard] I've got you, Pepe Le Bitch!
    • [getting ready to bump Girard in a race] Hey, it's me, America!
    • Slingshot: engage.
    • I'm not sure what to do with my hands.
    • You gotta win to get love. I mean, that's just life. Look at...look at Don Shula. Legendary coach. Look at that Asian guy who holds the world record for eatin' all those hot dogs in a row. Look at Rue McClanahan. From The Golden Girls. Three people, all great champions, all loved.
    • Get down, Karen!
    • Mr. Dennit, with all due respect, and remember I'm sayin' it with all due respect, that idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin gettin' it on.
    • Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza.
    • Theres a goddamn cougar in the car!
      • 98 percent of us will die at some point in our lives.
      • [advertising for McCreedy Funeral Services] Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it!
        • I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!
        • Grandfather, can't we resolve this conflict without anger?
        • Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
    Reese: Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. Now, the way I figure it, you got about 2 minutes before they show up, and you do five to ten. So, what's it gonna be? Fear...or prison?
    Ricky: What the hell are you talkin' about?!
    Reese: Real simple, son! Cops are comin'! There's a kilo of Jamaican bam-bam underneath the car! Time to be a man!
    Ricky: Cal, you could say that 10,000 times, and it still wouldn't be enough.
    Cal: It fires me up, man.
    Ricky: I know, say it one more time.
    Cal: Shake and Bake!
    Carley: Whoo!
    Ricky: Doesn't that feel good?
    Cal: Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs...it's awesome!

    Walker: Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!
    Texas Ranger: I don't even know what that means, but I love it!

     

    Ricky: Dear Tiny, Infant, Jesus...
    Carley: Um, sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off-puttin' to pray to a baby.
    Ricky: Look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin' grace. When you say grace, you can say it to Grownup Jesus or Teenage Jesus or Bearded Jesus or whoever you want.
    Texas Ranger: [after Ricky asks him about his day] Well, the teacher asked me what was the capitol of North Carolina. I said Washington D.C.
    Cal: Bingo!
    Ricky: Nice.
    Texas Ranger: And she said 'No, you're wrong.' I said 'You got a lumpy butt!' She got mad at me and yelled at me. Cal: I wet my bed until I was 19. There's no shame in that.

    March 15

    viva mexico!

    The United Mexican States (Spanish: Estados Unidos Mexicanos (help·info)), or simply Mexico (Spanish: México (help·info)), is a country located in North America, bounded on the north by the United States; on the south and west by the North Pacific Ocean; on the southeast by Guatemala, Belize, and the Caribbean Sea; and on the east by the Gulf of Mexico.[1][2] The United Mexican States conform a constitutional republican federation of thirty-one states and a federal district, Mexico City, one of the most populous cities on Earth.

    Covering almost 2 million square kilometers,[3] Mexico is the 5th largest country in the Americas by total area and 15th largest in the world. With a population of about 108 million, it is the 11th most populous country and the most populous Spanish-speaking country in the world.

    As the only Latin American member of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) since 1994, Mexico is firmly established as an upper middle-income country. Federal elections held in July 2000 marked the first time since 1929 that an opposition party defeated the Institutional Revolutionary Party (Partido Revolucionario Institucional: PRI) at the national presidential race, culminating a process of political alternation that had begun at the local level since the 1980s.

     

    Origin and history of the name

    Main article: Etymology of Mexico

    After the independence of the vice-royalty of New Spain it was decided that the country was to be named after its capital city, whose original name of foundation was Mexico-Tenochtitlan, in reference to the name of the Nahua Aztec tribe, the Mexica. The Nahuatl word Mexiko or Mexihko [meːʃiʔko] is composed of the root Mexi and the suffix -co that means place or city. The origin of the name of the tribe is rather obscure. Some argue that it derives from the Nahuatl word Mexitl a secret name for the god of war and patron of the Mexica, Huitzilopochtli, in which case Mexico means "place where Mexitl lives". Another hypothesis suggest that it derives from the words metztli ("moon"), xictli ("navel", "center" or "son"), and the suffix -co ("place"), thus it means "Place at the center of the moon" or "Place at the center of the Lake Moon", in reference to Lake Texcoco at the middle of which Mexico City was built.

    The name of the city was transliterated to Spanish as México with the phonetic value of the x in Medieval Spanish, which represented the voiceless postalveolar fricative (/ʃ/). This sound, as well as the voiced postalveolar fricative (/ʒ/), represented by a j, evolved into a voiceless velar fricative (/x/) during the sixteenth century, which led to the use of the variant Méjico in many publications, most notably in Spain, whereas in Mexico, México was the preferred spelling. In recent years the Real Academia Española, the institution that regulates the Spanish language, determined that the normative recommended spelling in Spanish is México, and the majority of publications in all Spanish-speaking countries now adhere to the new normative, even though the disused variant is still rarely found. In English, the x in Mexico represents neither the original nor the current sound, but the double consonant /ks/.

    History

    Main article: History of Mexico
     

    For almost three thousand years, Mesoamerica was the site of several advanced Amerindian civilizations such as the Olmec, the Maya and the Aztecs. In 1519, the native civilizations of what now is known as Mexico were invaded by Spain; this was one of the most important conquest campaigns in America. Two years later in 1521, the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan was conquered by an alliance between Spanish and Tlaxcaltecs, the main enemies of the Aztecs, setting up a three-century colonial rule in Mexico. The viceroyalty of New Spain became the first and largest provider of resources for the Spanish Empire, and the most populated of all Spanish colonie

     

    On September 16, 1810, independence from Spain was declared by Miguel Hidalgo in the small town of Dolores, causing a long war that eventually led to recognized independence in 1821 and the creation of an ephemeral First Mexican Empire with Agustín de Iturbide as first and only emperor, deposed in 1823 by the republican forces. In 1824, a republican constitution was drafted creating the United Mexican States with Guadalupe Victoria as its first President. The first four decades of independent Mexico were marked by a constant strife between federalists (those who supported the federal form of government stipulated in the 1824 constitution) and centralists (who proposed a hierarchical form of government in which all local authorities were appointed and subject to a central authority). General Antonio López de Santa Anna was a strong influence in Mexican politics, a centralist and a two-time dictator. In 1836, he approved the Siete Leyes, a radical amendment to the constitution that institutionalized the centralized form of government, after which Texas declared independence from Mexico, obtained in 1836. The annexation of Texas by the United States created a border dispute that would cause the Mexican-American War. This war resulted in the defeat of Mexico and as a result of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo (1848), Mexico lost one third of its surface area to the United States.

    Dissatisfaction with Santa Anna's return to power, and his unconstitutional rule, led to the liberal Revolution of Ayutla, which initiated an era of liberal reforms, known as La Reforma, after which a new constitution was drafted that reestablished federalism as the form of government and first introduced freedom of religion. In the 1860s the country again underwent a military occupation, this time by France, which established the Habsburg Archduke Ferdinand Maximilian of Austria on the Mexican throne as Emperor Maximilian I of Mexico with support from the Catholic clergy and the conservative Mexicans. This Second Mexican Empire was victorious for only a few years, when the previous president of the Republic, the Zapotec Indian Benito Juárez, managed to restore the republic in 1867.

    Porfirio Díaz, a republican general during the French intervention, ruled Mexico from 1876-1880 and then from 1880-1911 in five consecutive reelections. The period of his rule is known as the Porfiriato, which was characterized by remarkable economic achievements, investments in art and sciences, but also of huge economic inequality and political repression. An obvious and preposterous electoral fraud that led to his fifth reelection sparked the Mexican Revolution of 1910, initially led by Francisco I. Madero. Díaz resigned in 1911 and Madero was elected president but overthrown and murdered in a coup d'état in 1913 led by a conservative general named Victoriano Huerta after a secret council held with the American ambassador Henry Lane Wilson. This re-ignited the civil war, with participants such as Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata who formed their own forces. A third force, the constitutional army led by Venustiano Carranza, managed to bring an end to the war, and radically amended the 1857 Constitution to include many of the social premises and demands of the revolutionaries into what was eventually called the 1917 Constitution. Carranza was killed in 1920 and succeeded by Álvaro Obregón, who in turn was succeeded by Plutarco Elías Calles. Obregón was reelected in 1928 but assassinated before he could assume power. Shortly after, Calles founded the National Revolutionary Party (PNR), later renamed the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) who became the most influential party during the next 70 years.

    During the next four decades, Mexico experienced substantial economic growth that historians call "El Milagro Mexicano", the Mexican Miracle. The assumption of mineral rights by the government, and the subsequent nationalization of the oil industry into PEMEX during the presidency of Lázaro Cárdenas del Río (1938) was a popular move, but sparked a diplomatic crisis with those countries whose citizens had lost businesses expropriated by the Cárdenas government.

    Although the economy continued to flourish, social inequality remained a factor of discontent. Moreover, the PRI rule became increasingly authoritarian and at times oppressive, an example being the Tlatelolco Massacre of 1968, which by according to government officials claimed the life of around 30 protesters, even though many reputable international accounts reported that around 250 protesters were killed by security forces in a clash at the neighborhood. In the 1970s there was extreme dissatisfaction with the administration of Luis Echeverría which took missteps in both the national and international arenas. Nonetheless, it was in this decade that the first substantial changes to electoral law were made, which initiated a movement of democratization of a system that had become electorally authoritarian.[4] While the prices of oil were at historically high records and interest rates were low, Mexico made impressive investments in the state-owned oil company, with the intention of revitalizing the economy, but overborrowing and mismanagement of oil revenues led to inflation and exacerbated the crisis of 1982. That year, oil prices plunged, interest rates soared, and the government defaulted on its debt. In an attempt to stabilize the current account balance, and given the reluctance of international lenders to return to Mexico given the previous default, president de la Madrid resorted to currency devaluations which in turn sparked inflation.

     

    The first small cracks in the political monopolistic position of PRI were seen in the late 1970s with the creation of 100 deputy seats in the Chamber of Deputies assigned through proportional representation with open party-lists. At the municipal level the first non-PRI mayor elected by plurality won in the early 1980s, and the first non-PRI governor won in 1989. However, many sources claimed that in 1988 the party resorted to electoral fraud in order to prevent leftist opposition candidate Cuauhtémoc Cárdenas from winning the national presidential elections who lost to Carlos Salinas, which led to massive protests in the capital. Salinas embarked on a program of neoliberal reforms which fixed the exchanged rate, controlled inflation and culminated with the signing of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), which came into effect in 1994. However, that very same day, the Zapatista Army of National Liberation (EZLN) started a short-lived armed rebellion against the federal government, and has continued as a non-violent opposition movement against neoliberalism and globalization. This and a series of political assassinations and corruption scandals scared portfolio investors and reduced foreign capital investment. Being an election year, in a process that was then called the most transparent in Mexican history, authorities were reluctant to devalue the peso, a move which caused a rapid depletion of the National Reserves. In December 1994, a month after Salinas was succeeded by Ernesto Zedillo, the Mexican economy collapsed.

    With a rapid rescue packaged authorized by American president Clinton and major macroeconomic reforms started by president Zedillo, the economy rapidly recovered and growth peaked at almost 7% in 1999. Democratic reforms under Zedillo's administration caused the PRI to lose its absolute majority in the Congress in 1997. In 2000, after 71 years the PRI lost a presidential election to Vicente Fox of the opposition National Action Party (PAN). On March 23, 2005, the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America was signed by Vicente Fox. During the 2006 elections, the PRI was further weakened and became the third political force in number of seats in the Chamber of Deputies after PAN and the Party of the Democratic Revolution (PRD). In the concurrent presidential elections, Felipe Calderón, from PAN was declared winner, with a razor-thin margin over Andrés Manuel López Obrador of the Party of the Democratic Revolution (PRD). López Obrador however claimed the election was fraudulent and pledged to create an alternative government.

    Geography

    Main article: Geography of Mexico
     

    Mexico is situated in the mid-latitudes of the Americas, comprising much of southern North America[5][6] or also within Middle America.[7][8] Physiographically, the western frontier of Central America is the Isthmus of Tehuantepec, which places around 12% of Mexican territory (including the Yucatán Peninsula) in this region; geologically, the Trans-Mexican Volcanic Belt delimits the region on the north.[9] Geopolitically, however, Mexico is generally not considered a Central American country and its southern border with Belize and Guatemala delimits the region.

    Mexico's total area is 1,972,550 km², including approximately 6,000 km² of islands in the Pacific Ocean (including the remote Guadalupe Island and the Islas Revillagigedo), Gulf of Mexico, Caribbean Sea, and Gulf of California. On its north, Mexico shares a 3,141 km border with the United States. The meandering Río Bravo del Norte (known as the Rio Grande in the United States) defines the border from Ciudad Juárez east to the Gulf of Mexico. A series of natural and artificial markers delineate the United States-Mexican border west from Ciudad Juárez to the Pacific Ocean. On its south, Mexico shares an 871 km border with Guatemala and a 251 km border with Belize.

     

    State names and abbreviations for the 31 Mexican states and the Federal District:

     

    Demographics

    With a population of 103 million (2005 Census), Mexico is the most populous Spanish-speaking country in the world.

    Largest metropolitan areas

    The following is a list of the major metropolitan areas of Mexico with more than a million inhabitants, in order of population (as reported in the 2005 census):[22]

     
     
     
    Rank Core City State(s) Population
    1 Mexico City Federal District, Mexico, Hidalgo 19.23 million
    2 Guadalajara Jalisco 4.10 million
    3 Monterrey Nuevo Leon 3.66 million
    4 Puebla Puebla, Tlaxcala 2.11 million
    5 Toluca México 1.61 million
    6 Tijuana Baja California 1.48 million
    7 León Guanajuato 1.43 million
    8 Ciudad Juárez Chihuahua 1.31 million
    9 Torreón Coahuila, Durango 1.11 million

    The vast array of popular music genre in Mexico shows the great diversity of its culture. Endogenous music includes mariachi, banda, duranguense, norteño (grupero), ranchera and corridos. Contemporary music includes Mexican rock (or Rock nacional, represented by Maná, El Tri, Molotov (band) and Jaguares), heavy metal, rap, pop (like the group RBD), punk, reggaeton, and alternative music.

    Main article: Mexican cuisine

    Mostly known internationally for its tacos, fajitas, quesadillas and enchiladas, Mexican cuisine is extremely diverse. Regional dishes include mole poblano, chiles en nogada and chalupas from Puebla; cabrito and machaca from Monterrey, cochinita pibil from Yucatán, as well as barbacoa, chilaquiles, milanesas, and many other dishes

    monty

    Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" is a popular song written by Eric Idle that originally featured in the 1979 film Monty Python's Life of Brian and has gone on to become a common singalong at public events such as football matches.
    Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

     

    [edit] History

    While filming the last scene of Monty Python's Life of Brian, the cast were bored and hot sitting up on their crucifixes. So Eric Idle started singing a little ditty. Everyone (but Eric) liked it so much that they decided to use it. It has since become one of their most popular songs.

    Brian Cohen (played by Graham Chapman) has been sentenced to death by crucifixion for his part in a kidnap plot. After a succession of apparent rescue opportunities all come to nothing, a character on a nearby cross (played by Eric Idle) attempts to cheer him up by singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" to him. As the song progresses, many of the other crucifixion victims (140 in all, according to the script, though fewer than that are actually seen on screen) begin to dance in a very limited way and join in with the song's whistled hook. The song continues as the scene changes to a long-shot of the crosses and the credits begin to roll. An instrumental version plays over the second half of the credits.

    "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" was conceived as a parody of the style of song often featured in Disney films. It may be considered an 'answer song' to the entire genre, but particularly to songs such as "Give a Little Whistle" from Pinocchio. Its appearance at the end of the film, when the central character seems certain to die, is deliberately ironic.

     

    The song opens with an introductory verse (half-sung with an acoustic guitar backing on the soundtrack album and most subsequent versions, though simply spoken unaccompanied in the film itself):

    'Some things in life are bad,'
    'They can really make you mad,'
    'Other things just make you swear and curse,'
    'When you're chewing on life's gristle,'
    'Don't grumble, give a whistle,'
    'And this'll help things turn out for the best, and...'

    This deviation from the standard rhyme scheme (with 'best' replacing the expected 'worse' to rhyme with 'curse') leads into the first appearance of the chorus, which consists of the title and a whistled tune. A second verse continues in a similar vein, and the third and fourth verses move on to discuss the situation (namely, imminent death) in which Brian now finds himself, and alludes to the Shakespearean cliché that 'all the world's a stage':

    'You'll see it's all a show,'
    'Keep 'em laughing as you go,'
    'Just remember that the last laugh is on you.'

    The whistled hook is an uncredited contribution from Idle's frequent collaborator Neil Innes. One occurrence in the final chorus was omitted at the insistence of the film's executive producer George Harrison, so as not to obscure a pet phrase in John Altman's orchestral arrangement.

    The song appeared on the film soundtrack album, listed as "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (All Things Dull and Ugly)". The subtitle does not appear in, or apparently have any connection to, the actual song, and is only used on the soundtrack album. Confusingly, "All Things Dull and Ugly" was also the title of an unrelated track on Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album (released only a few months later), which is a parody of the popular hymn "All Things Bright and Beautiful".

    The song was also released on the B-side of the single "Brian Song", the film's opening theme (performed by Sonia Jones). It is likely that the claim made by Idle in the spoken fade-out that "this song is available in the foyer" was actually true in some cinemas.

    The song touched a chord with the British trait of stoicism and the 'stiff upper lip' in the face of disaster, and became immensely popular. When the destroyer HMS Sheffield was struck by an Exocet cruise missile on May 4, 1982 in the Falklands War, her crew sang it while waiting to be rescued from their sinking ship.

    Harry Nilsson performed the song as the closing track on his 1980 album, Flash Harry.

    When Graham Chapman died in 1989, the five remaining members of Monty Python reunited at his funeral to sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" after John Cleese's eulogy. [1]

    [edit] The single

    "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" became particularly popular in the early 1990s. The film had retained a cult status in the intervening years. Around 1990, the title refrain and hook (either whistled as in the original, or vocalised as 'da-dum, da-dum, da-da, da-da, da-dum') began to gain currency as a football chant. This came to the attention of BBC Radio 1 DJ Simon Mayo, whose breakfast show had a track record of reviving old novelty songs. Mayo began playing the original version on his show, which led to EMI re-issuing the track as a single in September 1991.

    The single (which was backed with two tracks from Contractual Obligation, "I Bet You They Won't Play this Song on the Radio" and "I'm So Worried") also doubled up as promotion for the recently-released compilation Monty Python Sings. (The original pressing also featured a German language version of "The Lumberjack Song", though this was quickly withdrawn and is now a collector's item.) The single reached the top ten in October and prompted a deliberately chaotic performance by Idle on Top of the Pops. Despite some perhaps over-enthusiastic predictions, it did not manage to bring an end to Bryan Adams' unprecedented run at the top of the UK Singles Chart with "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You", instead peaking at number 3. Following this attention, the song became more popular than ever. Two cover versions, by Tenor Fly (incorporating the piano riff from Nina Simone's "My Baby Just Cares for Me"), and the cast of Coronation Street, both reached the charts in 1995.

    [edit] Track listing

    1. "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"
    2. "I Bet You They Won't Play this Song on the Radio"
    3. "I'm So Worried"

    [edit] Other appearances

    In 1993, when the host city for 2000 Summer Olympics was announced as Sydney, the large crowd gathered in Manchester, one of the other rival bid cities, broke out spontaneously into a chorus of the song.

    In 1997, the song was recorded by Art Garfunkel and included in the soundtrack of James L. Brooks' film As Good as It Gets. Jack Nicholson sings the song fleetingly in the film itself. It was also performed by Bruce Cockburn and released on his 1990 Live CD. Garfunkel's version replaced the slightly "dirty" lyric "Life's a piece of shit" with the more family-friendly "Life's a counterfeit".

    In the 1990s, the song was used for a series of commercials for Hamlet cigars in which the protagonists suffered minor (and sometimes major) mishaps and then, as the song began to play, lit up a Hamlet cigar to relax.

    In late 2001 it was featured in the end credits of part two of The Making of Walking With Beasts to some WWB creatures featuring in a circus (an ape-man ringmaster sticking his head in the jaws of a sabre-toothed cat whilst early monkeys acrobat with a brontotherium up above). It was also recorded by the Brobdingnagian Bards for the CD A Faire To Remember.

    The band Iron Maiden often have a recording of the "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" song played right after they end their performance, as the lights come up and the fans begin to leave.

    Billie Joe Armstrong sings "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" during Green Day's song "King For a Day/Shout!" on the 2005 CD/DVD Bullet in a Bible.

    The song appears twice in the Broadway musical Spamalot, based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail; once in Act II and again during the curtain call. It is the only Monty Python song in the musical not taken from the original movie; other songs were either from Holy Grail or were new creations.

    The song's lyrical theme can be regarded as a modern-day version of the stereotypical British 'stiff upper lip' attitude, and this, combined with the song's high familiarity, had led to it often being jokingly described as Britain's 'alternative national anthem'.

    The Spamalot rendition of the song was also performed by Idle in the 2006 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

    March 10

    the benchwarmers


    Gus: [to Nelson] Hey. Are you the kid who got farted on earlier?
    Mel: Yes. This is my son Nelson. He's become quite the fart magnet for the neighborhood bullies.
    Nelson: I also get a healthy smear of animal turds twice daily.
    Clark: When I was your age, Fairy Jerry dumped a bucket of dog poop on me.
    Nelson: His son just did that to me last week.

    [looking at Mel's Pontiac Firebird Trans Am]
    Clark: This car is so radical. Looks just like K.I.T.T. from the show Knight Rider.
    Mel: It is K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Watch this.
    [Mel activates the car with his watch]
    K.I.T.T.: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm K.I.T.T.
    Richie: [to Mel] Who are you?
    Mel: Oh, I'm just once of those nerds who grew up... to make billions.

    Gus: Nice meeting you, Fairy Jerry.
    Jerry: What was that?
    Gus: Well, you gave Clark and Richie nicknames. I thought I'd give you one: Fairy Jerry.
    Jerry: Oh, really?
    Gus: [stands up from chair] Really.
    Jerry: Okay, Gus- Gus... Gus Bus! That's you, Gus Bus!
    Gus: Oh, that was a brutal comeback. Come on guys, let's go. I don't think I can ever get over that one. Whew!

    Richie: Yeah, I bet you're a real good catcher... of donuts in your mouth.

    Clark: That nerd makes me look like Rambo.

    Clark: [a ball hits Richie in the head] Duuuuhhhr!
    Richie: You just lost your membership at video world!
    Clark: Dang it!

    Carlos: Looks like the Gus Bus is out of gas.

    Gus: [upon seeing Carlos enter] Hey, what's going on here? How come he's playing?
    Wayne: Oh, ah, I couldn't play him before because he was feeling ill.
    Carlos: Me tummy, es sicko.
    Umpire: Well you got proof he's a kid?
    Gus: Come on! Look at his beard. He's 50.
    Wayne: Not according to birth certifico.
    [hands umpire the crumpled up paper he saw earlier]
    Umpire: [looks inside and sees 'I am 12' written in green crayon, with a picture of Carlos and $10. He carefully pockets the $10 and folds the paper back up] He's got proof all right. Play ball!

    Howie: [quivering] Carlos?
    Carlos: Who say my name?
    Howie: [gives him 2 packs of beer and a tequila] I brought you a present from the Benchwarmers. You're really good at baseball.
    Carlos: [happy] Thank you Albino.
    [bold]
    Carlos: Now get lost!
    Howie: [cowers away screeching]

    [after purosely stomping on Gus's hand]
    Carlos: Sorry. It was accident.
    [lifts foot off Gus's hand]

    [seeing three Howie's thru his blurred vision]
    Carlos: Look at all those Albinos.

    Carlos: No really, I need another refill.
    Wayne: You need to go to an AA meeting.

    [Carlos is drinking a tequilla while pitching]
    Carlos: Maria? Why did you leave me?
    Mel: Letting that 12 year old drink like that is disgusting.

    Richie: Dude. You smell like beer.
    Carlos: You look like beer.

    [last lines]
    Mel: This was a total waste of time, wasn't it?
    Gus: Yeah.

    Clark: We could still win this thing.
    Richie: Wha-how?
    Clark: If we use the force.
    Richie: Let's try not to be too geeky, Clark.
    Clark: The Force is powerful, my young padawan.
    Howie: He's right. It is.

    Gus: You've never had apple pie?
    Clark: My mom said it would give me dierria.
    Gus: So, you haven't at least tried it once?
    Clark: Dierria?
    Gus: No, baseball.

    Clark: [where someone has recently farted] Oh! I love beef stew!

    Howie: For years I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it's not a monster! IT'S NOT A MONSTER!
    [cries]

    Richie: He just did that steroid free!
    Clark: What's steroids?

    Clark: Ohh... there must be steroids in macaroni!

    Gus: I think this is a sign that you should get a car.
    Clark: My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year.
    [Extends arms forward and then retracts]
    Clark: She wants to make sure my reflexes are fully developed.

    Howie: I used to think the sun was evil but now I know it's not.
    Wayne: How's the moon treating you.
    Howie: Not a fan.

    Clark: Is bad ass one or two words?

    Howie: What's going all the way?
    Wayne: [whispers in Howie's ear]
    Howie: Oh.
    [squeezes suntan lotion and screams]
    Howie: Aaaaaah!

    Clark: Shut up, Number 7!
    Number 7 Robot: You shut up!
    Clark: I'll kill you!

    Old Man: I smell cinnamon rolls.

    Brad: You guys think you're athletes now?
    Richie: Haha that's funny I didn't know ath-e-letes had three syllables... thats ama-za-zaing.

    Richie: Are you guys ready to scr-mi-mimage?

    Kyle: I'm gonna call the cops!
    Clark: We are cops!... We're navy seals!
    Kyle: Navy seals aren't cops!
    Troy: Aren't you our paperboy?
    Clark: ...I'm undercover

    Gus: My wife is the only one who gets to twist these man titties.

    Kyle: Time to meet your makers!
    Clark: Makers of what? POOP?

    Mel: If you build it, nerds will come.

    [From Trailer]
    Clark: I got a new text message... my mom says we're having macaroni for dinner sweet!

    Mel: Keep it under a billion, that's all I got... on me hahaha.

    Wayne: Is that beer?
    Carlos: [stumbling] No it's Gatorade homie, get out of my way.

    Richie: I... love... salad.

    Howie: Richie told me about the serial killers thats loose in in our neighborhood killing anyone named Howie! THAT'S MY NAME! That's my name!

    Mel: Howie, you're a freak.

    Mel: Have you even known the joys of having children?
    Richie: Never had a date.
    Clark: Never talked to a girl.

    Richie: [after Gus hits a homerun] Wow and he did it without steroids.
    Clark: What's steroids?
    Richie: Something that makes your pee-pee smaller.
    Clark: There must be steroids in macaroni!

    Marcus Ellwood: Do you still think I look like Yoda?
    Gus: No.
    Marcus Ellwood: But Yoda's my favorite! You're a bad, bad man!

    Richie: Clark, we don't play baseball.
    Clark: I told Gus that we would be there, and if we don't show up, that makes me a liar... and that's not what I'm about... Not now, NOT EVER!

    Little Boy: : Leave our field or you will suffer the consequences!
    Richie: : What is this, "children of the corn"?

    Troy: Listen, we have a game tomorrow, and there's only one field to practice on - so, beat it!
    [pushes Nelson]

    Richie: [after hitting the ball] I ticked it, it hit the bat!
    Charlie Catcher: You're ssstill out.
    Richie: You're ssstill fat!
    March 01

    mcr

    I never said I'd lie and wait forever
    If I died, we'd be together
    I can't always just forget her
    But she could try

    At the end of the world
    Or the last thing I see
    You are
    Never coming home
    Never coming home
    Could I? Should I?
    And all the things that you never ever told me
    And all the smiles that are ever ever...
    Ever...

    Get the feeling that you're never
    All alone and I remember now
    At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
    She dies

    At the end of the world
    Or the last thing I see
    You are
    Never coming home
    Never coming home
    Could I? should I?
    And all the things that you never ever told me
    And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
    Never coming home
    Never coming home
    Could I? Should I?
    And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
    For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

    If I fall
    If I fall (down)

    At the end of the world
    Or the last thing I see
    You are
    Never coming home
    Never coming home
    Never coming home
    Never coming home
    And all the things that you never ever told me
    And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
    Never coming home
    Never coming home
    Could I? Should I?
    And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
    For all the ghosts that are never gonna...